San Tan Youth Football League Eagles

They never saw it coming. Blind-sided I tell you. It seemed a bit bizarre that the coaches were seemingly wrapping up practice at 7:30 tonight as the boys gathered in the middle of the practice field. Had we known better, we would have noticed the coaches looking over at the Peanut Gallery gettin’ all chucklehead and such. Del Caron even mentioned that they looked like they were up to something…

Then it happened… they issued the challenge. “Calling all fat men!”, cried Coach Erwin. “Get out here you numb nuts”, belted Coach Beaver. “That means you too Ardans”, exclaimed Coach Romel. And then, like a herd of hippos, the boys in the Peanut Gallery began to make the gradual ascent from the comfy confines and relative safety of the sidelines.

Snap, said Galloway’s knee… Crackle went Bill Oram’s L4 & L5, and Pop went the weasel. In other words my friends… it was on!! The Bald Eagles had accepted the challenge and made their way out to the field for a beatdown of epic proportions. They may have chosen otherwise had they anticipated the ill fate that awaited them.

As you might expect, the Bald Eagles were far more effective in the early stages of the matchup. On the games first possession, Bill Oram bullied his his way thru a gaggle of 3rd graders and barreled into the endzone for the games first score. The young Birds took the ball on the next possession and in a feat of athletic brilliance, John Ardans jumped in front of an ill advised out pattern and tip-toed into the endzone like a gutter ball at the bowling alley.

After the 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty was levied on the ensuing kickoff for an overzealous TD celebration, the youth and superior skill of the real Eagles began to take over. It was clear that the Bald Eagles were running out of gas… that’s when the young fellas stepped on the pedal and blew their elder Eagles off the field with four unanswered touchdowns. Coach Gene mercifully blew the whistle signaling the end of the exhibition as the Bald Eagles limped off the field in shame.

“We’ll get ’em next time”, yelled Pearson. “There ain’t gonna be no next time”, muttered Harris. Bruised, battered and beaten, the Bald Eagles gathered their belongings and headed for the parking lot.

The End.